I got a call today from a twenty year old guy who I have been working with for about a year. He came to me by way of a man I had seen a couple of years ago. His name is Tony.

Tony is a 78 year old white man, who had been a millionaire then lost it all.  He had been  a lawyer who become a businessman. Tony had worked for an oil company and lost his wife to cancer. He really never got over it and a local doctor told him he wanted him to see me.

Here was a once wealthy white man who was seeing a Native American psychotherapist who came from very humble beginnings. He saw all my little tells in my office: native art and human condition sayings on the wall. He commented on my car, my Mercedes. I could see he was trying hard to see me as an authority figure. I showed him my diplomat and fellow certificate from the American Psychotherapy Association and Forensic Association.

Tony had been humbled by having lost all his money and he said it made him a better person, but he wanted it back. As we worked through his mindset and constructs, I came to help him become a more compassionate man. He was a man who wanted greatly to be loved and have all that a good woman can give a man. It was never to be. But like a lot of people who come to therapy, he found peace with what he had.

Tony wanted to be loved and give love without knowing how to find it. He started to realize that some of the things he learned were not serving him in a spiritual way. He wanted to give without strings. He wanted to help his  grandson. A grandson, who had no father. He had been sent to private school without having family ever visit and grew up to be an angry teenager.

Tony sent him to see me and paid for all the therapy. (His name is”B” for the purpose of this article. ) B was a very good client for therapy. He grew and became very open to having a good life. He had some set backs but in a year or so, we came out of it with flying colors. This C student went to get a job and is in junior college where he is really finding himself. He dropped all his drug friends and started to be very thankful to Tony for what he had done for him.

Tony called me two days ago to tell me how wonderful he thought I was and how proud he was of B’s progress. He wanted me to know he wanted to help pay for B’s old medical bills from a drug hospitalization. He sounded bad. He was coughing and couldn’t breathe very well. I told him I was concerned. I suggested he go see his doctor. That was the last I heard from him.

Tony died and I will have to start the process of not seeing “B” in therapy anymore. He did for his grandson what he could not do for himself. He gave him the opportunity to have a good life and know himself so “B”can find like kind and have a good life.

Tony will be missed and his influence will last forever. He is in a coma now and waiting for family member to be with him when they withdraw life support.

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